tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57558662024-03-07T07:52:43.028-06:00University of Alabama Football ReportEverything’s flammable. Everything’s flash.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger226125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-61625637467096969302013-01-04T13:18:00.000-06:002013-01-04T13:18:24.977-06:00University of Alabama Football Report for 1/04/13: For All the Marbles
Before I even knew what a "Notre Dame" was, I hated them.
My grandfather lived through the worst of it. He was a bulldog of a man, low to the ground, hard, unstoppable. He was, at various times, a sharpshooter, a moonshiner, a goat farmer, a carpenter, a politician, a rogue, and a saint.
And when he got his teeth into a grudge, by God, he was going to hold onto it as if it were his own arm. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-90296420761744254742012-12-01T11:44:00.001-06:002012-12-01T11:44:15.178-06:00University of Alabama Football Report for 12/01/12: SEC Championship EditionRoll Tide.
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-50803220856605886462012-11-23T07:11:00.000-06:002012-11-23T07:11:06.198-06:00University of Alabama Football for 11/23/12Beat Auburn.
Roll Tide.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-14331120441228207512012-11-09T14:13:00.000-06:002012-11-09T14:21:53.426-06:00University of Alabama Football Report for 11/09/12
… locating beauty and art and magic and improvement and keys
to excellence and victory in the prolix flux of match play is not a fractal
matter of reducing chaos to pattern … not a reduction at all, but—perversely—of
expansion.
--David Foster Wallace, Infinite
Jest
One of the unique things about football as a spectator sport
is that its non-fluid pace of play offers constant Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-34132195129508816362012-11-03T06:22:00.002-05:002012-11-03T06:22:45.437-05:00University of Alabama Football Report for 11/03/12: Live from Death ValleyTo assess a collegiate football game on the first weekend of November has become an effort in spirit writing. For, much like Yeats's bride, who took a fever and penciled an outline of the afterlife, one's interest can no longer be satisfied within the visible world alone, but must take to the empty talk of myth and magic. Such delicate notions to be cast out of a brutish game, like a blacksmith'sUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-20210563873652882452012-10-20T13:02:00.000-05:002012-10-20T13:02:50.460-05:00University of Alabama Football Report for 10/20/12: where are they now editionErik Ainge is a piece of shit.
Roll Tide.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-30293035124090403002012-10-12T22:35:00.000-05:002012-10-12T22:37:35.292-05:00University of Alabama Football Report for 10/12/12Compromise is essential to building a successful life. For example, in a perfect world, Beano Cook would be bludgeoned to death with both of Ron Powlus's Heismans. Alas, we live in a compromised world, where Powlus is a punchline, Maryland fell far short of the national championship, and Cook is mundanely, mortally, and mulishly dead.
Cook will be remembered (which is in itself a marvel today) Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-56361749868781136212012-09-28T17:00:00.005-05:002012-09-28T21:20:52.956-05:00University of Alabama Football Report for 9/28/12“Living on the road, my friend, was gonna keep you free and clean…”
--Townes Van Zandt, “Pancho and Lefty”
Anyone who’s spent time on the road knows that Townes was full of shit. Life on the road metes out its tortures at a high price and with ever increasing filth. An unapologetic panorama of rude people, ugly buildings, and ruinous food.
Companions make it not one bit easier. The road is Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-47440111537192382512012-09-15T10:05:00.000-05:002012-09-15T10:05:02.399-05:00University of Alabama Football Report for 9/15/12 is a game time decisionWere I a betting man (ah ha ha ha), Tyler Wilson won't be taking the field today. Were I an athletic director, I'd fire a coach who'd even consider it. Especially against Alabama's front seven, who are hellbenders for the denizens of the backfield.
In many ways, it's too bad John L. Smith is already fired, hired to be fired, really. He's an almost too perfect fit for Arkansas football. Living onUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-66673965516983866652012-09-07T22:23:00.000-05:002012-09-07T22:23:53.910-05:00University of Alabama Football Report for 9/07/12
“A thousand tickets? I’ll buy them and give them away. We can’t sell out with all the games we’ve won?”--Alabama head football coach Nick Saban
If I were a carpenter and you were a lady, then we'd likely not be speaking like this. But here we both are, so let's cut to the chase.
I've never been good at the whole "teaching lessons" thing, mainly, I think, because I associate it with having, Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-38580725817482330262012-08-31T16:59:00.000-05:002012-08-31T16:59:46.928-05:00University of Alabama Football Report for 8/31/12
"I don't know why all this shit about wanting to hear about the football all the time..."from Infinite Jest
It's hard to comprehend for the old-timers. Why a team from Alabama would want to play a team from Michigan in Texas. And not just any Texas either, but Dallas, Texas. Maybe the most Texasy part of Texas.
To tell them that doing so is for the benefit of sportswriters in New York and highUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-72137691515819918322012-07-22T08:42:00.000-05:002012-07-23T09:43:21.535-05:00University of Alabama Football Report for 7/22/12: SEC Media Days Hangover EditionIf you were to wander into Birmingham's Avondale Brewery the other night and stumble upon the SEC Media Days' de facto after party, no one would blame you for thinking you'd hit the snooze button on your Zombie Apocalypse Alarm Clock.
However, the slow-moving, slack-faced, murmuring herd sloshing shoulder-to-shoulder from bar to bathroom aren't, technically, the undead. They're what's left of Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-38956798919699003942012-05-04T12:47:00.000-05:002012-05-07T14:52:20.714-05:00University of Alabama Football Report for 5/04/2012
List of things MCA destroys in the "(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (to Party)" video, in order:
Beer can
Popular Mechanics magazine
Framed wall art
Pie
Acoustic guitar
White button-down
Dog's self-esteem
Television
Roll Tide.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-79671490920626074112012-04-13T15:51:00.001-05:002012-10-29T13:57:04.136-05:00University of Alabama Football Report for 4/13/12: A-Day Preview
Six years running into the present regime, no one questions the normalcy of our lunacy, or vice versa. With another capacity crowd expected at Alabama’s open scrimmage tomorrow, the only news is that it’s not news. It’s a relativist’s paradise, or nightmare. Who can tell?
Maybe Michael Robbins, whose greatly anticipated collection of poems (yes, such a thing), Alien vs. Predator, was releasedUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-48449225430299975522012-01-09T16:42:00.000-06:002012-01-09T16:42:25.715-06:00University of Alabama Football Report for 1/09/12: National Championship EditionThere are no second acts in American lives.
--F. Scott Fitzgerald
This game's not about me. . . . It doesn't define who I am as a person.
--Nick Saban
Even the most ardent Alabama supporter has to feel a little bad for LSU. How many times do they have to beat Alabama? Wasn't the first time difficult enough? But second chances being such a rare commodity these days, it would be impolite to Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-72848728503909066122011-12-30T16:16:00.000-06:002011-12-30T16:16:53.886-06:00University of Alabama Football Report for 12/30/11People have dreams all the time. It don't mean nothin.
--Cormac McCarthy, The Crossing
He forever dreamed of funerals.
Never death. There is a difference.
He dreamed he walked the aisle to see Hank Williams lie in repose. A Cadillacwide pearlwhite casket with a black lead sheet inlay along the length denoting the melody of "Ramblin' Man." Inside, the man himself. Pale. His dermis thin like Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-82916924552389724092011-12-10T00:03:00.000-06:002011-12-10T00:03:06.678-06:00University of Alabama Football Report for 12/09/11Trent Richardson is in New York City to watch a Baptist quarterback win the Heisman, not that that's the worst thing in the world. Ask Oklahoma State. Or better yet, don't. They will likely need some time to calm down.
Some may look at the current national championship match up and think the system is broken. However, and this may not make you feel any better, it's not that the system is broken;Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-81793167540691623462011-11-25T21:21:00.000-06:002011-11-25T21:21:28.769-06:00University of Alabama Football Report for 11/25/11LSU 41
Arkansas 17
Well, now that that's over...
A few weeks ago, Alabama lost its chance at the national title by losing a close game against LSU in overtime. After Arkansas built up a two-touchdown lead on the top team in the nation yet saw their championship hopes gobbled up by the Honey Badger, we at last understand why the Great Leader thought missing field goals was a better option than Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-84061164332791546582011-11-18T17:44:00.000-06:002011-11-18T17:44:14.724-06:00University of Alabama Football Report's Complete Guide to Defending the Triple OptionStop the fullback dive.
Duh.
Roll Tide.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-46511159290447006082011-11-11T15:47:00.006-06:002011-11-11T16:08:03.575-06:00University of Alabama Football Report for 11/11/11The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
--W. B. Yeats, "The Second Coming"
Leaving Bryant-Denny Stadium last week, after watching the worst overtime series ever presided over by a quarterback not named Clausen, after watching kick after kick after kick fall short or wide (or both) of the goalposts, after watching the man in charge of it all watch all that Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-52265647980119392062011-11-04T16:04:00.000-05:002011-11-04T16:04:01.080-05:00University of Alabama Football Report for 11/04/11: Game of the Century of the Week EditionThe elephant whose sturgeon-like blood
insists it was or ought to be aquatic,
whose ears, like hairy crackle-glazed chopping boards,
are cheerfully agreeing to be fans,
fingers his marulas with a trunk
strong enough to paralyze a tiger...
--Selima Hill, "The Elephant Whose Sturgeon-like Blood,"
the Poetry Daily selection for 10/31/11
Just how big is tomorrow's game featuring LSU at Alabama?
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-26805724818780136652011-10-21T20:10:00.000-05:002011-10-21T20:10:50.662-05:00University of Alabama Football Report for 10/21/2011“I have wasted my life.”
The last line of James Wright’s poem “Lying in a Hammock at William Duffy’s Farm in Pine Island, Minnesota” has always frazzled me.
Is he talking about the moment itself? Unlikely. His life is elsewhere. Lying in hammock is a moment of leisure, a departure from life as it must be lived. Plus, there’s barely a speaker at all in the majority of the poem, just an eye: Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-65273545614542826932011-10-14T20:22:00.002-05:002011-10-16T12:47:39.420-05:00University of Alabama Football Report for 10/14/11Ninety-nine years ago today, Theodore Roosevelt survived an assassination attempt by being both a protracted speaker and a total bad-ass. TR was to deliver a speech on the campaign trail explaining his split from the Republican Party when he was shot by a .38 slug that drilled through fifty pages of notes, dented his spectacle case, and lodged just shy of his right lung.
And deliver it he did!
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-49819915105003246152011-10-07T21:32:00.000-05:002011-10-07T21:32:38.181-05:00University of Alabama Football Report for 10/07/11News this week of Missouri's Board of Curators (curators? Like a museum? O... K...) considering leaving Texas's Big X(II) in favor of another athletic conference, presumably the SEC, garnered little excitement and a fair amount of smug derision. What does Missouri offer the Southeastern Conference other than yet another team with a tiger mascot? Does Mizzou football, which is what this is really Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-86802215157944241622011-09-30T14:56:00.001-05:002011-09-30T17:45:11.765-05:00University of Alabama Football Report for 9/30/11“Many of the 223 Hispanic students at Foley Elementary came to school Thursday crying and afraid. . . . Nineteen of them withdrew, and another 39 were absent.”
--Rena Havner Philips, Mobile Press-Register
One of the needling concerns I have for this country--slotted somewhere between third-world-style oligarchic rule and zombie apocalypse--is the future health of college football. Now, I’m not Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1