tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57558662012-01-09T16:42:25.701-06:00I don't. I don't! I don't hate it! I don't hate it!Jnoreply@blogger.comBlogger2121100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-48449225430299975522012-01-09T16:42:00.000-06:002012-01-09T16:42:25.715-06:00

There are no second acts in American lives. --F. Scott Fitzgerald This game's not about me. . . . It doesn't define who I am as a person. --Nick Saban Even the most ardent Alabama supporter has to feel a little bad for LSU. How many times do they have to beat Alabama? Wasn't the first time difficult enough? But second chances being such a rare commodity these days, it would be impolite to

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-72848728503909066122011-12-30T16:16:00.000-06:002011-12-30T16:16:53.886-06:00

People have dreams all the time. It don't mean nothin. --Cormac McCarthy, The Crossing He forever dreamed of funerals. Never death. There is a difference. He dreamed he walked the aisle to see Hank Williams lie in repose. A Cadillacwide pearlwhite casket with a black lead sheet inlay along the length denoting the melody of "Ramblin' Man." Inside, the man himself. Pale. His dermis thin like

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-82916924552389724092011-12-10T00:03:00.000-06:002011-12-10T00:03:06.678-06:00

Trent Richardson is in New York City to watch a Baptist quarterback win the Heisman, not that that's the worst thing in the world. Ask Oklahoma State. Or better yet, don't. They will likely need some time to calm down. Some may look at the current national championship match up and think the system is broken. However, and this may not make you feel any better, it's not that the system is broken;

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-81793167540691623462011-11-25T21:21:00.000-06:002011-11-25T21:21:28.769-06:00

LSU 41 Arkansas 17 Well, now that that's over... A few weeks ago, Alabama lost its chance at the national title by losing a close game against LSU in overtime. After Arkansas built up a two-touchdown lead on the top team in the nation yet saw their championship hopes gobbled up by the Honey Badger, we at last understand why the Great Leader thought missing field goals was a better option than

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-84061164332791546582011-11-18T17:44:00.000-06:002011-11-18T17:44:14.724-06:00

Stop the fullback dive. Duh. Roll Tide.

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-46511159290447006082011-11-11T15:47:00.006-06:002011-11-11T16:08:03.575-06:00

The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity. --W. B. Yeats, "The Second Coming" Leaving Bryant-Denny Stadium last week, after watching the worst overtime series ever presided over by a quarterback not named Clausen, after watching kick after kick after kick fall short or wide (or both) of the goalposts, after watching the man in charge of it all watch all that

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-52265647980119392062011-11-04T16:04:00.000-05:002011-11-04T16:04:01.080-05:00

The elephant whose sturgeon-like blood insists it was or ought to be aquatic, whose ears, like hairy crackle-glazed chopping boards, are cheerfully agreeing to be fans, fingers his marulas with a trunk strong enough to paralyze a tiger... --Selima Hill, "The Elephant Whose Sturgeon-like Blood," the Poetry Daily selection for 10/31/11 Just how big is tomorrow's game featuring LSU at Alabama?

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-26805724818780136652011-10-21T20:10:00.000-05:002011-10-21T20:10:50.662-05:00

“I have wasted my life.” The last line of James Wright’s poem “Lying in a Hammock at William Duffy’s Farm in Pine Island, Minnesota” has always frazzled me. Is he talking about the moment itself? Unlikely. His life is elsewhere. Lying in hammock is a moment of leisure, a departure from life as it must be lived. Plus, there’s barely a speaker at all in the majority of the poem, just an eye:

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-65273545614542826932011-10-14T20:22:00.002-05:002011-10-16T12:47:39.420-05:00

Ninety-nine years ago today, Theodore Roosevelt survived an assassination attempt by being both a protracted speaker and a total bad-ass. TR was to deliver a speech on the campaign trail explaining his split from the Republican Party when he was shot by a .38 slug that drilled through fifty pages of notes, dented his spectacle case, and lodged just shy of his right lung. And deliver it he did!

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-49819915105003246152011-10-07T21:32:00.000-05:002011-10-07T21:32:38.181-05:00

News this week of Missouri's Board of Curators (curators? Like a museum? O... K...) considering leaving Texas's Big X(II) in favor of another athletic conference, presumably the SEC, garnered little excitement and a fair amount of smug derision. What does Missouri offer the Southeastern Conference other than yet another team with a tiger mascot? Does Mizzou football, which is what this is really

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-86802215157944241622011-09-30T14:56:00.001-05:002011-09-30T17:45:11.765-05:00

“Many of the 223 Hispanic students at Foley Elementary came to school Thursday crying and afraid. . . . Nineteen of them withdrew, and another 39 were absent.” --Rena Havner Philips, Mobile Press-Register One of the needling concerns I have for this country--slotted somewhere between third-world-style oligarchic rule and zombie apocalypse--is the future health of college football. Now, I’m not

Jnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-13676503509308502772011-09-23T21:41:00.000-05:002011-09-23T21:41:12.627-05:00

Well, you know, I don't get any hot dog at halftime. I don't. I don't even drink a Coke. I coach the team at halftime. You get your little halftime break, and then you have your little ass back in your seat ready to go when the next half starts. --Nick Saban from his radio show, 9/22/2011 Corporate beverage sponsors and hard-working concessions vendors aside, not many people will take issue with

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-19032574010027618462011-09-16T22:14:00.000-05:002011-09-16T22:14:52.639-05:00

A confession with North Texas on the docket: I have never read Friday Night Lights. Nor have I seen the movie, nor an episode of the television series. Each, I have been told, is better than its predecessor. Yet I have not made the time. Some of this avoidance can be explained by my finding Buzz Bissinger a bit of a prisspot. Or worse, a tourist. Furthermore, Texas has enough misguided,

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-18534074237382788252011-09-09T19:03:00.001-05:002011-09-16T21:50:41.246-05:00

Last week, I saw an Alabama fan wearing a t-shirt asking "How do you say 'Roll Tide?'" On the back, in a dozen languages, were the answers. That and the news that Texas A&M will soon be leaving the Longhorns' shadow for the SEC hammered home the point that our game's regional appeal is elastic, both nationally and internationally. The more things stay the same, the more they change. No one knows

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-3523205583684556512011-09-02T12:54:00.000-05:002011-09-02T12:54:55.490-05:00

Like a freight train. That's the cliche and it's true. Ask anyone who's heard the roar that precedes a tornado and they will tell you. Depending on whom you ask, some will volunteer more. A hiss in the air, vibrating against your skin. The sky sinking so close to the ground it looks like a second earth. The explosions. It's the wind that makes that roar. The same wind that pulls apart houses

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-91276479054565312572011-08-19T12:18:00.000-05:002011-08-19T12:18:25.605-05:00

"Walter and I had been working on that song at a house in Malibu. I played him that line, and he said, 'You mean it's like, they call these cracker assholes this grandiose name like the Crimson Tide, and I'm this loser, so they call me this other grandiose name, Deacon Blues?' And I said, 'Yeah!' He said, 'Cool! Let's finish it!'" --Donald Fagen, liner notes to Aja Cracker assholes are a peculiar

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-8632923248913992132011-04-29T10:10:00.000-05:002011-04-29T10:10:44.778-05:00

To cry to the sea that roar'd to us, to sigh To the winds whose pity, sighing back again, Did us but loving wrong. --The Tempest (I.ii) For those looking for a comprehensive list of ongoing and much needed relief efforts, please click here. For those looking for a quick way to throw cash at this problem (no cynicism--cash works!), please click here. For those trying to find their way home,

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-43099774390433378932011-04-15T10:38:00.000-05:002011-04-15T10:38:57.023-05:00

“You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath…” --Exodus 20:4 “Sing a few songs, have a few drinks, break a couple of commandments.” --Dean Martin’s purported plans for his first Vegas show Fandom is the safest form of love; that is, it is a love from a distance, love from the stadia seats, a love

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-38852141729412305392011-04-08T14:28:00.000-05:002011-04-08T14:28:31.763-05:00

There were still remaining some few prisoners not wounded; these were asked by Lolonois, if any more Spaniards did lie farther on in ambuscade? They answered, there were. Then being brought before him, one by one, he asked if there was no other way to town but that. This he did to avoid if possible those ambuscades. But they all constantly answered him they knew none. Having asked them all, and

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-18298533650317979412011-03-04T09:46:00.001-06:002011-03-04T09:48:28.937-06:00

Dude Hennessy (December 23, 1929--March 2, 2011) Roll Tide.

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-82625660439811187052011-02-04T11:46:00.000-06:002011-02-04T11:46:49.700-06:00

That's my dog. Chances are, if you're reading this, then you know her. Oh, let's just clear the air: chances are you've been bitten by her. But wounds heal, chicks dig scars, and a dog is man's best friend. Here are a few things about my best friend: I did not raise my dog from a pup. She and I met at the Tuscaloosa Humane Society while I was a student at the University of Alabama. I was

Jnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-83596503795923859602010-12-30T15:00:00.001-06:002010-12-30T15:00:48.843-06:00

In accordance with mankind's inclination to adapt the environment to one's needs rather than vice versa, the state of Florida is a Frankenstein monster, an animation made from the dying parts of Detroit, Havana, Long Island, and other places. One of the strangest things about Florida is that, past a certain age, hardly anyone in Florida seems to be from Florida. Each community brings their own

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-59794169770849720612010-12-10T14:14:00.000-06:002010-12-10T14:14:24.445-06:00

May one be pardon'd and retain the offence? In the corrupted currents of this world Offence's gilded hand may shove by justice, And oft 'tis seen the wicked prize itself Buys out the law...

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-30434215106240873742010-12-03T09:17:00.000-06:002010-12-03T09:17:54.737-06:00

Dear Sir: I write to you on the eve of your return to the SEC Championship Game, and, given our past engagements at said venue, the irony is not lost on me that I find myself cheering your team on in this contest. One is never so old to outgrow surprises. I am certain that, in your time at Columbia, you’ve accepted this maxim as well. Given the stakes of tomorrow’s game, I’m sure your time is

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-62742047482182978662010-11-23T20:43:00.000-06:002010-11-23T20:43:18.950-06:00

It’s not about anything that’s going on outside. It's not about what happened last year. None of that really matters. It’s about this week, this time, this game. ––Alabama head football coach Nick Saban, 11/22/2010 The team that it was believed would give Alabama a tough fight and play the Crimson and White to a standstill, was crushed and battered by a mass of muscle and educated chain

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-80354433701817999312010-11-17T16:12:00.000-06:002010-11-17T16:12:20.448-06:00

What in the holy hell is going on around here? Two losses in a season and now we're the Thursday night special on ESPN-Esperanto? College football is made for Saturdays, damn it. It's easier to sleep through a sermon hungover than a business meeting. No matter. It could be worse, after all. We could have the federales sniffing around for a money trail connecting bingo-hall funds to our Heisman

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-21002520495623138032010-11-13T00:05:00.000-06:002010-11-13T00:05:46.399-06:00

On the road...

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-27017317103552956572010-11-05T22:23:00.000-05:002010-11-05T22:23:58.107-05:00

On both principle and observation, I am resolutely godless. Neither the ornate Catholic universalism of ceremony nor the enthusiastic snake-charming of my homeland convinces me of a grand design beyond the chaotic world we see. That being said, however, life’s insistent entropy precludes me from dismissing voodoo out of hand. On the contrary, the capricious whims of cause and effect, the

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-75629944368653063412010-10-22T16:02:00.000-05:002010-10-22T16:02:13.390-05:00

As a society, we rightfully discourage hatred. We view hate, depending on the circumstances, as a devolution toward primitive animus or the psychology of a disturbed mind. Legally, actions already deemed unacceptable—for example, assault or murder—receive consideration for stronger sentencing if their motivation stems from hate. The Southern Poverty Law Center maintains the “Hate Map,” an online

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-57603020456928281542010-10-15T16:36:00.000-05:002010-10-15T16:36:39.729-05:00

1. Who said “There’s nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you”? a. Woody Hayes b. Paul “Bear” Bryant c. Nick Saban d. Every Alabama fan, post-hangover, last Sunday morning 2. What cartoonish character recently replaced Ole Miss’s “Colonel Reb” as the school mascot? a. Black Bear b. Landshark c. Hotty Toddy d. Fox News’ Shepard Smith 3.

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-46471569393409216642010-10-08T11:39:00.002-05:002010-10-08T15:34:44.794-05:00

“Politicians, ugly buildings, and whores all get respectable if they last long enough.” --from Chinatown “We’re part of the Alabama show this week.” --Steve Spurrier Ask an Alabama fan of a certain age and with a contrarian sensibility whether South Carolina is more worrisome than the recently defeated Florida Gators and the answer might surprise you. Never you mind that Florida has been

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-34683330820435666992010-10-01T15:40:00.000-05:002010-10-01T15:40:57.982-05:00

As for the rumor, we hope it proves true. As for the game, what is there left to say? Roll Tide.

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-54681578252513592682010-09-24T15:09:00.000-05:002010-09-24T15:09:33.794-05:00

“Everybody’s got plans… until they get hit.” —Mike Tyson, pugilist This week, the Wall Street Journal ran an article questioning the University of Alabama, and specifically Nick Saban, for the use of medical scholarships to remove student-athletes from an active roster. For the benefit of the uninitiated, this practice, in spirit, serves to provide continuing academic support for players who,

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-53163157025713111042010-09-17T16:05:00.000-05:002010-09-17T16:05:40.760-05:00

“It’s the first time since we’ve been here that I have felt the need to talk about things that you take for granted, like the dress code for a trip.” —Alabama head football coach Nick Saban, on his team’s youth Fashion week may have wrapped up yesterday in the Big Apple, but the runway show is just beginning for college football. In advance of the University of Alabama Crimson Tide’s first road

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-25546129743741819152010-09-10T08:06:00.001-05:002010-09-10T08:07:53.184-05:00

You ask what I know of youth, what I know of age. I know youth is a curse one desires, age a gift one cannot request or refuse. I know each autumn brings a winter and spring is never certain. I know value in work and play, that doing away with either is foolish. I know freshmen quarterbacks can play better than one thinks. I know victory is life. I know examples teach. I know lessons fade.

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-56440743818602455012010-09-03T13:21:00.000-05:002010-09-03T13:21:09.837-05:00

The Internet is a strange place. It is, at the same time, a conduit allowing diverse peoples with even more diverse ideas to challenge one another and a hyperbaric chamber for likeminded zealots to feed one another’s similar delusions. Although this rings true for any obsession, from politics to poodle grooming, it is perhaps most true for sports fandom. And most most true for college football

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-36229662707265443402010-08-27T14:01:00.001-05:002010-08-30T10:10:22.757-05:00

A Times article this week breathed new life into the specious Sapir-Whorf hypothesis of linguistics (the long-abandoned idea, simplified, that if one lacks a word for a thing then the thing cannot be known). In short, the new take on this canard is actually a reversal of it: rather than language imposing limits on our thinking, it forces extra layers of meaning onto an objective reality. Our

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-63146116797358654472010-07-23T15:41:00.000-05:002010-07-23T15:41:58.274-05:00

Day 1: Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy One of the drawbacks of the SEC’s expansive broadcasting deal with ESPN and the throngs of journalists, broadcasters, bloggers, and sportsertainment professionals it brings is that there’s no place free of laptops where one can rest one’s cocktail. Furthermore, the newer envoys from Connecticut seem observably Puritanical in their attitudes about public consumption.

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-37164375920069556562010-07-09T11:07:00.001-05:002010-07-16T15:01:32.027-05:00

“It’s interesting that all the folks that are buying it don’t know they are reading a children’s book.” — Miss O’Connor on To Kill a Mockingbird “Tellin’ the truth’s not cynical, is it?” — Dill This weekend marks the golden anniversary of Alabama native Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird, known unofficially as “that book I had to read in high school” or “that one about Gregory Peck.” Alongside

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-91231016535736012872010-06-11T08:27:00.003-05:002010-06-11T08:34:10.653-05:00

Elvis did not play football in high school because his parents could not afford the equipment fee. The Big XII: abdication (self-administered, partially). Direly underappreciated. Pretty much the high point of experimental fiction in this country. Said David Foster Wallace about Wittgenstein’s Mistress. Which is what a literary agent would call a “pull quote” and appeared in every clumsy

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-45770685413701670022010-05-21T14:17:00.000-05:002010-05-21T14:17:14.101-05:00

Each spring the Great Leader travels the earth, offering before the faithful his precepts for our beloved University of Alabama Crimson Tide football squad, on team chemistry, future scheduling, and sundry minutiae. We are grateful for his benign tolerance of our presence. Below are some of his remarks: On the Alabama fanbase: “If it wasn’t for the positive energy and attitude that we have with

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-89466468752248101452010-05-07T12:22:00.000-05:002010-05-07T12:22:29.116-05:00

There are loved ones in the glory     Whose dear forms you often miss. When you close your earthly story,     Will you join them in their bliss? Will the circle be unbroken     By and by, by and by? One can imagine a family history better as a wavelength than a line. Over time, the day-to-day connections abandon one’s memory, leaving the gaps between peaks and valleys to broadcast the story

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-71282429286781802092010-04-23T11:37:00.003-05:002010-04-23T12:48:24.196-05:00

On the frontiers of knowledge there is little certainty. More than the emperor not having any clothes, we lack even an emperor. And for the big questions, the line separating discovery from delusion is still being mapped. For example, in quantum mechanics and its discussion regarding avant space-time, one necessarily relies on the occasional ipse-dixitism, which can be a stepping-stone or a

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-7408707542296994582010-04-16T14:48:00.000-05:002010-04-16T14:48:01.362-05:00

The computus of the Alabama Crimson Tide’s liturgical year has brought us to the end of practice and upon the eve of A-Day, our last moveable feast of the spring. Although it is the final scrimmage of the spring, and the only one open to the public, it may well be the most worthless one for the players on the field and the coaches still evaluating them. Were there another practice or scrimmage

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-54294499682230287442010-03-26T16:00:00.000-05:002010-03-26T16:00:06.675-05:00

Not just for me, but for all of us as well. We just won a national championship, an SEC championship. Every player’s getting it. We’re just learning to deal with it on the go. But it’s all fun. It’s something that you dream of. -- Mark Ingram, answering if people have treated him differently after he became Alabama’s first Heisman winnerMon Dieu, is spring practice boring. Boring not just for

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-59772832162914121852010-03-19T16:03:00.000-05:002010-03-19T16:03:59.777-05:00

I am a big fan of this white dude from Vernon, Alabama, named Dan Penn, who is without a doubt one of the best Southern soul singers ever. Even if you've not heard him sing, you've heard his songs because he's spent most of his career writing them for other people, which I guess makes him one of the best Southern soul songwriters ever too. He's probably best known, if at all, for being in the

Jnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-81086068005082372872010-03-05T14:15:00.002-06:002010-03-05T15:41:07.347-06:00

When the going gets tough, are you one of the tough that gets going? … Do you have any ballet training, and if not, would you like some? Have you ever seen Newton’s Optiks? -- Padgett Powell, The Interrogative Mood: A Novel? p. 101The sport of football, like the item itself, is a wobbly, ugly thing that, at times, can be hard to get a grip on and is, ultimately, hollow at its core. However,

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-57685455859998960202010-02-19T15:38:00.001-06:002010-02-19T15:39:53.512-06:00

Holy mother of God! Soul Train has a YouTube channel. Where has this been hiding!?! Let the off-season time killers begin. Roll Tide.

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-5130903223095160842010-02-05T10:44:00.001-06:002010-02-05T10:45:47.904-06:00

Let’s get something clear right out of the gate: the Tim Tebow Super Bowl ad won’t convince anyone, not a single person, to change his or her views on abortion. How could it? If the leaked reports are true, then the ad itself is a mealy-mouthed, soft-lit personal testimony about abstractions like “faith” and “love” and such. Furthermore, the story behind the ad—Pam Tebow ignoring a doctor’s

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-61732716362279959992010-01-15T14:24:00.000-06:002010-01-15T14:24:35.894-06:00

Celebrate these days with feasting and gladness and by giving gifts of food to each other and presents to the poor... their sorrow was turned into gladness and their mourning into joy. (Esther 9:22) Get to it: http://american.redcross.org/supporthaiti Besides, we have to beat Tennessee. Haven't the Haitians suffered enough without having to wear Lane Kiffin's face on their shirts? Roll Tide.

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-5509497846734185772010-01-06T13:23:00.002-06:002010-01-06T13:25:37.601-06:00

College football’s national championship is easily the most contested, controversial, debated, decried, and denounced title in all of athletics. In fact, it is difficult find any snarky corner of the internet (save those with sponsorship ties) where one will not find it described as “mythical,” akin to a flying horse or a reasonable Texan. Yet, far from devaluing its stature, this only makes the

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-10341861751236831392009-12-18T15:45:00.000-06:002009-12-18T15:45:01.745-06:00

Dear Santa: I am well aware of my fixed position on the naughty side of the ledger. However, I write not on my own behalf but for others who are perhaps too preoccupied to take pen in hand this week leading up to your big night. All I want for Christmas this year is for someone to step up in the secondary to replace Rashaad Johnson. one more round at Egan's. to beat Tennessee in the most

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-56173210698594469892009-12-11T15:40:00.002-06:002009-12-11T15:43:43.358-06:00

What is this? It is a prolate spheroid in which the outer leather casing is drawn tightly over a somewhat smaller rubber tubing. Better to have died as a small boy than to fumble this football. -- John Heisman, addressing his first team At Alabama, our players do not win Heisman Trophies. Our teams win national championships. -- Coach Paul “Bear” Bryant, answering a reporter’s question during

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-83812735882439161522009-12-04T14:58:00.000-06:002009-12-04T14:58:38.564-06:00

. . . I with wings as swift As meditation, or the thoughts of love, May sweep to my revenge. Hamlet, I, v, 29-31It was too long a time before I realized that woman who cuts my hair was not, in fact, coincidentally wearing the same colorful little print upon each occasion of my visits, but was, rather, tattooed most elaborately and thoroughly, and, furthermore, not wearing much of a shirt at all

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-33647104702745081982009-11-27T11:41:00.001-06:002009-11-28T10:07:22.690-06:00

Just beat Auburn (again). Scratch that. This year, there’s no “just” anything. If one takes away one point, and there are many to take, from Jared Diamond’s Guns, Germs & Steel and Collapse, his twin works on societies’ rises and falls, respectively, it is the dull truth that a people’s success or failure depends not on the greatness of its citizenry but on their making great use of the

Jnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-51502728392273459652009-11-20T15:34:00.000-06:002009-11-20T15:35:08.227-06:00

“Well, we had to play somebody.”-- Nick Saban, University of Alabama head football coach, on this Saturday’s game with Chattanooga“Auburn, maybe?”-- Russ Huesman, Chattanooga head football coach, in answer to an ESPN question on what Alabama should focus on when they look at his teamIn 2005, the National Collegiate Athletic Association approved the addition of a twelfth game to college football’s

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-77901689459452055402009-11-13T15:27:00.002-06:002009-11-14T11:54:47.812-06:00

From as long as 15,000 years ago, from areas as far ranging as Africa, the Near East, to the Atlantic coast of Europe, early civilizations satisfied their craving for a god through the cult of the bull. Many times, the bull is needed merely as the gods’ footrest--what else could support the weight of a deity? Other times, the bull’s strength rewards its own end, an observable idolatry.This

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-2661539065590377632009-11-06T14:58:00.003-06:002009-11-06T21:31:38.404-06:00

We’ve probably already won a helluva lot more than anybody thought we would already, and we're going to focus on what we need to do to get better as a team, and come out with guns a-blazin’.-- Nick Saban addressing the 1st and 10 Club at Heron Lakes Country Club, October 29, 2009If emotion is strong enough, the words are unambiguous.-- Marianne Moore, Paris Review interview 1960Critics have

Jnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-75132723583211337122009-10-30T15:23:00.004-05:002009-10-30T15:33:23.397-05:00

"The fault, dear Cody, is not in our stars,But in ourselves, that we are underlings."-- Terrence Cody Shakespeare, Julius Cody, Act I, scene iiTerrence Cody Terrence Cody Terrence Cody Terrence Cody Terrence Cody Terrence Cody Terrence Cody Terrence Cody. Terrence Cody Terrence Cody Terrence Cody Terrence Cody Terrence Cody Terrence Cody Terrence Cody? Terrence Cody! Terrence Cody Terrence Cody

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-21834113928519804422009-10-23T10:49:00.004-05:002009-10-23T14:28:29.707-05:00

“It’s a game like any other game.”-- Rolando McClain on the Alabama-Tennessee rivalryThe history of the Alabama and Tennessee football rivalry extends well before the existence of the Southeastern Conference itself, beginning in the first (or second, depending on how you count these things) year of the twentieth century. Except for a brief span in the 1920s, Alabama and Tennessee have been

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-83776126322847722292009-10-16T14:32:00.002-05:002009-10-16T14:37:40.084-05:00

As if the record proved otherwise, the Great Leader is a good fit for Alabama. For one, the team’s followers are about the only people as obsessed with the game as he is and, furthermore, his style of football--disciplined, brutal, hard-line football--matches our history and aesthetics. Because for college football, its polls and voters and computers, aesthetics are no small matter. For example,

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-15739659746982584042009-10-09T14:54:00.001-05:002009-10-09T14:57:41.142-05:00

“Dammit, sir . . . will you accuse a lady to her face of smelling bad?” -- Judge Stevens, William Faulkner’s “A Rose for Emily”When the Ole Miss Rebels' national title hopes died, their whole town went to the funeral: the women through a sort of respectful affection for the fallen hopes of their men, the men mostly out of curiosity to see the inside of top ten, which no one save an old Manning--a

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-25553848323196993042009-10-02T15:21:00.001-05:002009-10-02T15:23:13.255-05:00

Established in Woodford County in 1865, Labrot and Graham’s Old Oscar Pepper Distillery is the home of Woodford Reserve, a small-batch bourbon whose texture and atmosphere may go a long way toward explaining why another name for drunkard is lush, as accurate a descriptive as one can place on this abundant and fertile offering from the bluegrass state.Bourbon whiskey, unlike its Irish or Scotch

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-61606610430413329802009-09-25T15:13:00.004-05:002009-09-26T17:00:50.596-05:00

The Razorbacks’ 2009 squad seems to be divided roughly along the lines of Germany before the fall of the Berlin Wall. The offense, like West Germany, is a land of ample resources and careful governance. The defense, like East Germany, is a stark, sere blighted place where joyless workers yearn to escape to the other, happier side.-- Cecil Hurt, Tuscaloosa News, Sept. 21, 2009.For many seasons now

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-18501586621649627572009-09-18T13:21:00.000-05:002009-09-18T13:23:58.771-05:00

The Battle of Austerlitz was a victory so thorough, so decisive, this messy old world may never see its like again. Catalogued among the fallout one will find the securing of Napoleon’s claim as Emperor of the French and Protector of the Confederation of the Rhine, the dissolution of the Holy Roman Empire, the subjugation of Russia and Austria, and, as a commemorative marker, arguably the

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-1801627127414085512009-09-11T14:20:00.003-05:002009-09-25T16:13:32.771-05:00

For that the evil ones comes here, and say,“Fall down, O Simeon: thou hast suffer’d longFor ages and for ages!” -- Alfred, Lord Tennyson, “St. Simeon Stylites”Flagpole sitting became a popular fad in the United States in the 1920s and held the attention of bored jackasses for roughly five years. Somewhat on the low end of spectacles, flagpole sitting gained much of its appeal from the unspoken

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-38733511103421958592009-09-04T11:59:00.003-05:002009-09-04T16:08:56.943-05:00

Evil is whatever distracts.-- Franz Kafka, Notebooks (ca. 1917-1919)One might be surprised to learn that Kafka, rarely published in his lifetime, was known to entertain with public readings of his works. I say entertain because apparently the man could not make it very far through his own words without laughing outright and, once introduced, his laughter contaminated the entire proceedings,

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-56129928769145164812009-08-28T14:39:00.005-05:002009-08-28T14:51:42.544-05:00

For so it had come about, as indeed I and many men might have foreseen had not terror and disaster blinded our minds. These germs of disease have taken toll of humanity since the beginning. . . . But by virtue of this natural selection of our kind we have developed resisting power; to no germs do we succumb without a struggle.-- H. G. Wells, The War of the WorldsThe University of Alabama’s

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-54446131694480497672009-08-14T08:35:00.003-05:002009-08-14T08:42:22.940-05:00

The haggard sun dragged across the cerulean. The ancients called it a chariot wheel. Helios, all-seeing and fiery. The spectrographists say it is an engine running on gas. Noble. Fused atomic. The bright thumbprint of some power dropped upon a dark futile envelope, center of an anonymous circus. This day, it was spiteful and long with the hours and decrying man his comfort. A manifest heat, felt

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-52536358405509266592009-07-24T12:14:00.002-05:002009-07-24T12:21:09.442-05:00

Day 1: We Control the HorizontalMike Slive knows no cure for hubris. The commissioner of the SEC and carnival barker for the greatest show on field turf uses the opening day of what, despite its official rebranding as the conference kick-off, is still known to the lokes as “media days” to grandstand a bit (“if the SEC were a nation, it would have placed fourth in the Olympic medal count”).

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-25757513497895913302009-07-03T19:03:00.005-05:002009-07-03T19:10:24.414-05:00

This weekend you’ll hear lots of people proclaiming their patriotic bona fides, a love of the mother land et al., as if love of country were the stuff of a baby gurgling at a swollen teat. Myself, I prefer patriots who are partners in this enterprise, who love the ol’ gal warts and all.For example, I am a lifelong collector of Nixonia--memorabilia, tchotchke, and swag related to one Richard

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-19702884008624738942009-06-12T11:22:00.000-05:002009-06-12T11:24:26.412-05:00

There was nothing evil at work, or at least nothing more evil than bureaucratic myopia and, perhaps, a little laziness on the part of UA athletic administrators who are, by the way, still UA athletic administrators. Every month, data came in from the Supply Store. Every month, it went from an administrative assistant (who was only looking for “correct code”) to an assistant athletic director to

Jnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-34554057281387034342009-06-05T14:51:00.003-05:002009-06-08T14:29:39.451-05:00

Earlier this week, J. D. Salinger offered a new story to the world featuring his most famous protagonist, Holden Caulfield. Disappointingly, this work wasn’t penned by the author himself but rather by his lawyer. And for a specific audience, the U.S. District Court in New York, where Salinger filed suit against the author and would-be publishers of a sequel to Catcher in the Rye.Obviously, this

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-51212633457804834532009-05-08T14:49:00.003-05:002009-05-08T14:59:42.085-05:00

Decoration Day, the day upon which the living gather to memorialize and visit with their familial dead throughout the South, may have its origin as a martial holiday, Confederate Memorial Day, at a time when the population beneath the ground dwarfed the one atop it.Others claim that it began years afterward, influenced by the annual observance of Robert E. Lee’s death at Arlington House, with

Jnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-39020691690276011402009-05-01T14:25:00.004-05:002009-05-01T14:39:42.104-05:00

Whoever has learned to be anxious in the right way has learned the ultimate.-- Kierkegaard, The Concept of Dread Earlier this morning the United States House of Representatives’ Subcommittee on Commerce, Trade, and Consumer Protection summoned our peerless overseers of the Bowl Championship Series before their authority. Led by Rep. Joe Barton (R-Texas, seen here) of Arlington, the subcommittee

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-66775207772273391922009-04-17T14:42:00.003-05:002009-04-17T15:09:56.273-05:00

“It’s human nature to be average.”--Nick Saban “Let's not quibble! I'm the foe of moderation, the champion of excess.”--Tallulah BankheadAlthough Nick Saban is not mentioned by name in The Open Society and its Enemies, Karl Popper’s reshaping the masses’ question from Plato’s “Who should rule?” to “the new question: How can we so organize political institutions that bad or incompetent rulers can

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-11550176849696706512009-03-13T22:00:00.002-05:002009-03-13T22:04:22.864-05:00

And not a fieldglass sees them home, Or curious stop-watch prophesies: Only the grooms, and the groom's boy, With bridles in the evening come.--Philip Larkin, “At Grass”The University of Alabama Crimson Tide football team officially began the drumbeat toward the new season today by holding their first spring practice session, a many-holds-barred affair with little contact and much sweat. Beyond

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-48766326931008337812009-01-30T13:52:00.002-06:002009-01-30T14:13:02.309-06:00

Tonight the Late Show with David Letterman will air a stand-up routine by the comic Bill Hicks. This warrants special mention because, even though this will be the comedian’s twelfth appearance on the show, Hicks died nearly fifteen years ago.In 1993, Bill Hicks became only the second performer to be censored on the stage of the Ed Sullivan Theatre. This put him in some pretty good company. As

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-24609704024446654502009-01-02T15:07:00.003-06:002009-01-02T17:45:34.493-06:00

The judge smiled. It is not necessary, he said, that the principals here be in possession of the facts concerning their case, for their acts will ultimately accommodate history with or without their understanding.--Cormac McCarty, Blood MeridianFor a season that began with a player's arrest for felony cocaine distribution, ending with a player's (or player's father or player's uncle or player's

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-33190952623795276162008-12-19T15:06:00.001-06:002008-12-19T15:09:33.390-06:00

EagleBank BowlWake Forest vs. Navy Washington, RFK Stadium Dec. 20, 11 a.m., ESPN Prediction: You will learn to love the toss sweep.New MexicoColorado State vs. Fresno State Albuquerque, University Stadium Dec. 20, 2:30 p.m., ESPN Prediction: By halftime you will have said the phrase “I wonder how I’d look with a Fu Manchu” at least twice.magicJack St. PetersburgMemphis vs. South Florida St.

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-543627807173122272008-12-12T13:11:00.000-06:002008-12-12T13:15:24.222-06:00

Congrats, big man. Now go cash that check.Roll Tide.

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-61548682637206697272008-12-05T11:31:00.001-06:002008-12-05T11:34:42.886-06:00

The Lockheed Martin F-35 Lightning II might well be the most dazzling war machine existent in the history of man. Hyperbole? Some numbers: At just over 51 feet in length, the F-35 can carry twice its weight in weaponry and fuel into a battle radius of 610 nautical miles at a cruising velocity of Mach 1.6, roughly 1200 miles per hour in straight flight. Its joint-combat maneuverabilty is bolstered

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-51056005679320593402008-11-28T11:30:00.000-06:002008-11-28T11:32:06.428-06:00

Beat Auburn.

Jnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-76384558634666383572008-11-21T18:32:00.002-06:002008-11-21T18:37:53.589-06:00

The Bama Report is thankful for the following:That presidents, much less presidents-elect, have no jurisdiction over college football’s postseason.Dogs.Ju-co transfers at nose tackle.At the moment, Pale Fire.Those little wasabi crunchy things in high-end trail mix.My hazy memories of the 1979 Sugar Bowl.America’s growing number of ethic restaurants beyond Chinese and Mexican (really, you should

Jnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-36908101737952147612008-11-14T14:49:00.003-06:002008-11-14T14:55:05.228-06:00

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else. You are the one who gets burned.--Buddhist proverbWe know they beat us the past two years. It makes us mad, OK? --quarterback John Parker Wilson, on Mississippi StateA revenge tour--defensive end Brandon Deaderick, on Alabama’s final three games of the regular seasonI don’t give a shit who we’re

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-90673677986501504722008-11-07T15:25:00.001-06:002008-11-07T15:32:14.844-06:00

Strange business, this making history. Stranger still to know one is making it while it happens, that one’s every step is hounddogged by a memory that will outlive one’s own. This is as good a week as any to think about it. On Sunday, Alabama made its debut atop the BCS poll. On Monday, the University of Tennessee fired longtime nemesis and fitness icon Philip Fulmer. And on Tuesday, black

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-24222347747050466912008-10-31T15:38:00.000-05:002008-10-31T15:42:07.550-05:00

Hail hail to the good timesBecause rock has got the right of wayWe ain't no legends, ain't no causeWe're just living for today. from "For Those about to Rock (We Salute You)"The University of Alabama Crimson Tide football team has not won a game in the month of November in three years. That’s nine games lost not only to the likes of LSU but also to Louisiana-Monroe. It also includes the

Jnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-7462723331718980932008-10-24T15:02:00.000-05:002008-10-24T15:05:25.089-05:00

Our labor knows no rest.Our mountains crumble,Our mountains crumble.--Song of the Emperor Wu, second century B.C.The Third Saturday in October arrives a week late this year, yet another testament to how broken the organism is. I cannot eat my vegetables for fear of disease. I cannot cross a bridge for fear of its collapse. I cannot kiss my imported, miniature, Chinese choo-choo trains for fear of

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-90863372070069641772008-10-17T12:55:00.000-05:002008-10-17T12:56:19.962-05:00

How to solve a puzzle like Houston Nutt? In a world where most people identify themselves by the lines they will not cross, the prisons they gleefully sentence themselves to, Nutt zigs and zags through the swamps of his life on a constant jailbreak, the shackle cut but still tight around his ankle, the hounds still tracking the last air of his scent. Not quite sane yet not yet mad, he is more

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-45968403527361172892008-10-10T15:32:00.000-05:002008-10-10T15:33:47.938-05:00

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-70628018390868034262008-10-03T14:52:00.001-05:002008-10-03T14:57:16.552-05:00

Uneasy lies the head et cetera, et cetera. But Lord am I tired of hedging bets. Many years ago, I was sitting a few chairs down from one of Umberto Eco’s translators and a girl wearing nothing more than a smile and a pair of glittery high-heels asked me, “Why so sad?”It’s a good question. And if she weren’t likely, as they all exit the stage, in a grave or on a church pew, I’d have half a mind to

Jnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-25476999644068598122008-09-26T12:16:00.001-05:002008-09-26T14:18:46.967-05:00

Scaramouche: Have you heard Georgia will be wearing special jerseys for the game with Alabama? Mister Punch: Huzzah! Alabama will also be wearing special jerseys—the ones they wore while beating Georgia!Scaramouche: Are you unaware? Georgia will be donning black jerseys for the game.Mister Punch: Huzzah! Better that they look like Vanderbilt than play like them.Scaramouche: Perhaps you did not

Jnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-85330011397160201912008-09-19T13:00:00.002-05:002008-09-19T14:54:07.271-05:00

David Foster Wallace is dead1, and I don’t feel so good myself. I find myself torn between heart and head in trying to assess this football season.In the vagaries of college football, perception is reality. The AP named Alabama a top-ten team this week, and also populated half of the top ten with teams from the same conference. By the transitive property of football then, tomorrow’s match-up with

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-14329187567158649412008-09-12T15:13:00.001-05:002008-09-12T15:20:31.580-05:00

If [the players] don't do it this week and don't buy into it the way I just said it, they're going to the scout team. And from the scout team, they may be going out the door.Nick SabanThe Nick Saban Radio ShowSeptember 11, 2008Constructed to overwhelm the direct border assaults and trench warfare that epitomized the First World War, the Maginot Line along the German border was France’s primary

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-7595678110197402632008-09-05T15:43:00.003-05:002008-09-05T15:53:07.700-05:00

First things first, and I believe we can all agree on this, Clemson was overvalued being ranked as the ninth best team in the country. Furthermore, some would say that pre-season rankings—maybe even those in the first month of the season—are, at worst, baseless or, at best, founded on unrepresentative sampling.Plus, regardless of how stupid it is to promise the first hand-off of the season to an

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-6476751365816977402008-08-29T18:41:00.001-05:002008-08-29T19:00:35.510-05:00

Football has for ages been a favorite game with savages . . . . I am not decrying football—I incline to the view that an occasional rough-and-tumble scrapping match in which there is imminent danger of black eyes, and even of broken bones, is good for a boy. . . . It is a mistake to assume that an intellectual divertisement must be popular with an intellectual people. The highest culture is but a

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-75901398353688303622008-08-22T13:46:00.006-05:002008-08-22T14:22:54.162-05:00

Office: President of PakistanIssues: Shortly after the attacks of 9/11, America showed up in Pakistan with a sack of money in one hand and a loaded gun in the other. Since that time, American officials have reiterated at every opportunity that Pakistan is one of America’s strongest allies in the War on Terror. With the ouster of Pervez Musharraf, the Pakistani presidency opens up for early

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-62774237907245855032008-08-08T16:08:00.001-05:002008-08-08T16:15:53.138-05:00

There is, sometimes in thunder, another person who thinks for you, takes in one’s mental furniture, shuts and bolts the mind’s window against what seems less appalling as a threat than as some distortion of celestial privacy, a shattering insanity in heaven, a form of disgrace forbidden mortals to observe too closely: but there is always a door left open in the mind . . . for the entrance and the

Jnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-49789578830457270942008-07-25T13:04:00.003-05:002008-07-28T09:15:22.427-05:00

Day One: Never Hire a Carpenter with a Messiah ComplexHoover, Alabama, should be proud of itself.Not only is the Birmingham suburb home to one of the state’s more upscale residential areas and a nationally televised high school reality drama (?), but it has accomplished this while being mooned by Vulcan, Red Mountain’s pantsless icon of a steel industry gone bust.Into the shadow of those rusty

Jnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5755866.post-85731345775383732162008-07-11T15:06:00.003-05:002008-07-11T15:10:14.527-05:00

Recently, I was lucky enough to come across a first printing of Championship Football: A Guide for Player, Coach and Fan by former LSU, Texas A&M, Nebraska, and Texas head coach Dana Xenophon Bible.Bible, a contemporary of Warner, Rockne, et al., is partially responsible for establishing college football as a national phenomenon in the first half of the twentieth century, as he was, for a time,

Jnoreply@blogger.com0