University of Alabama Football Report Fan Quiz for 10/29/04

1) Name the unluckiest coach in college football.

a. Mike Shula

b. Ron Zook

c. Pick ‘em

2) Name the member of Alabama’s starting backfield out for the season with a knee injury.

a. Croyle

b. Hudson

c. Castille

d. All of the above

3) Match the opposing coach with the defrocked Bama coach upon whom he squealed.

a. Fulmer (Tennessee) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ___ Dubose (recruiting violation)

b. Tubberville (Auburn) - - - - - - - - - - - - - ___ Price (stripper visitation)

4) Match the offensive coordinator with the most appropriate Christian orthodoxy.

a. Dave Rader ‘86 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ___ Roman Catholicism

b. Homer Smith - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ___ Unitarianism

c. Dave Rader ’04 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ___ Vatican II

5) To an SEC football fan, the number zero is:

a.the number of African-American SEC coaches prior to Sly Croom

b. the chance of a bowl appearance by MSU due to NCAA probation this year

c. the chance of an MSU bowl appearance this year anyway

6) Florida’s electoral votes will go to:

a. Bush

b. Kerry

c. Spurrier

7) William Morris, in his polemic “Why I Became a Socialist,” states that indifference in his own class demands a socialist state as a moral imperative. The middle class’s inability to establish roots in artistic tradition and inevitable embrace of material progress also troubles him. Therefore, when faced with 4^th and 1 at midfield, Morris would most likely:

a. punt

b. run

c. pass

d. prefer baseball

8) Skynyrd:

a. rocks

b. totally rocks

c. totally fuckin’ rocks

9) Which one of these Joe Kines similes is decipherable?

a. “It’s like cutting a lady’s scarf with a sword.” (on tackling Arkansas QB Matt Jones)

b. "It’s like getting hit in the head with a ball peen hammer.” (on losing to UT)

c. “It’s like taking a pig slow dancing in front of the chickens.” (!?!?!?!?)

10) In Mobile, one RV leaves for Tuscaloosa at 3pm Thursday. A second RV leaves for Tuscaloosa at the same time from the opposite end of the state. Three more RVs leave from various locations at various times. A dozen more leave every hour on the hour for the next day. Calculate the amount of alcohol consumed in the Law Library parking lot.