1) Name the unluckiest coach in college football.
a. Mike Shula
b. Ron Zook
c. Pick ‘em
2) Name the member of
d. All of the above
3) Match the opposing coach with the defrocked Bama coach upon whom he squealed.
a. Fulmer (
b. Tubberville (
4) Match the offensive coordinator with the most appropriate Christian orthodoxy.
a. Dave Rader ‘86 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ___ Roman Catholicism
b. Homer Smith - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ___ Unitarianism
c. Dave Rader ’04 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ___ Vatican II
5) To an SEC football fan, the number zero is:
a.the number of African-American SEC coaches prior to Sly Croom
b. the chance of a bowl appearance by MSU due to NCAA probation this year
c. the chance of an MSU bowl appearance this year anyway
7) William Morris, in his polemic “Why I Became a Socialist,” states that indifference in his own class demands a socialist state as a moral imperative. The middle class’s inability to establish roots in artistic tradition and inevitable embrace of material progress also troubles him. Therefore, when faced with 4th and 1 at midfield, Morris would most likely:
d. prefer baseball
b. totally rocks
c. totally fuckin’ rocks
9) Which one of these Joe Kines similes is decipherable?
a. “It’s like cutting a lady’s scarf with a sword.” (on tackling Arkansas QB Matt Jones)
b. "It’s like getting hit in the head with a ball peen hammer.” (on losing to UT)
c. “It’s like taking a pig slow dancing in front of the chickens.” (!?!?!?!?)