University of Alabama Football Report for 6/11/10

Elvis did not play football in high school because his parents could not afford the equipment fee.

The Big XII: abdication (self-administered, partially).

Direly underappreciated. Pretty much the high point of experimental fiction in this country.
Said David Foster Wallace about Wittgenstein’s Mistress.

Which is what a literary agent would call a “pull quote” and appeared in every clumsy write-up about its author, David Markson.

Including this one.

The original schools in the Pac 8 conference were (in no particular order) California, Stanford, Southern Cal, Washington, UCLA, Washington State, Oregon, and Oregon State.

Elvis’s last concert was at Indianapolis’s Market Square Arena, which was demolished July 8, 2001.

Always You.

Entertainments.
Markson called his crime and western novels.

Elvis purchased the first production model of the Stutz Blackhawk. It was ordered for Frank Sinatra.

I’m very encouraged by the process we have set forth to ensure the solidification of this conference.
Said Dan Beebe before Colorado and Nebraska left for the Pac10 and Big Ten, respectively.

A better testament to Markson’s writing might be that he married his literary agent, Elaine. After they divorced, she remained his agent.

Harry Fannin played football for Michigan, a Big Ten school.

Better known writers whom David Markson had drinks with include (in no particular order) Malcolm Lowry, Conrad Aiken, Jack Kerouac, Pete Hamill, and Dylan Thomas.

The morning before Elvis left for the army, he bought a BMW.

Baylor was allowed to join the Big XII due to then-governor Ann Richards’s strong-arming. The current governor of Texas is an A&M alum.

Elvis signed one contract with Colonel Tom Parker. Elvis never changed it because he hated confrontation. The Colonel never changed it because it made him rich.

Kansas, a powerhouse basketball school, received no invitation join the Big Ten.

Or the Pac 10.

My Love, Forgive Me.

Tom Jones once found one of Elvis’s guns, a .45, on the floor next to his dressing room’s toilet. It had slipped out of Elvis’s hip holster while he made use of the facilities.

Markson activated a Twitter account on March 25, 2009. It displays 14 messages for 38 followers.

David Foster Wallace: hanging (self-administered, solely).

The original members of the Southwest Conference were (in no particular order) Texas A&M, Texas, Baylor, Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, Southwestern University, Rice, and Arkansas.

Ricky Nelson. Robert Conrad. Three of the Los Angeles Rams.

Hollywood Mon Amour.

Only one of Markson’s novels was adapted into a movie. The lead was played by Frank Sinatra.

The only thing worse than watching a bad movie is being in one.
Said Elvis.

Southern Methodist football: “repeat violator” status decreed by the NCAA Committee on Infractions (a.k.a. the death penalty).

The Overton Park Shell in Memphis is arguably the location of the first Elvis concert. It is still standing.

One Markson novel is entitled This Is Not a Novel.

During his movie career, Elvis played touch football with celebrity friends at De Neve Square, a public park in west Los Angeles. The crowds rivaled those at Rams games, if not exceeded them.

Summer Sounds.

My nephew has only partially justified his recommendations of this thing.
Said Markson on Twitter.

It is my fervent advice to avoid old-age.
Also.

Malcolm Lowry: misadventure (officially).

In 2007, a man stole Elvis’s 9mm Smith and Wesson from a display case during a tour of Graceland. The thief panicked and dropped it down a portable toilet behind Graceland’s movie theater.

Ann Richards: cancer.

Protagonists in Markson’s novels include (in no particular order) “Protagonist,” “Author,” “Lucien Springer,” “Reader,” “Harry Fannin,” “Writer,” and “Dirty Dingus Magee.”

Elvis first played the Louisiana Hayride because he could not get booked on the Grand Ole Opry.

In Person.

Market Square Arena: 962 charges of dynamite (wholly).

David Markson’s last novel is entitled The Last Novel.

Elvis shot out at least three television sets in his den and one in a hotel room because he could not find the remote.

Robert Goulet’s Wonderful World of Christmas.

According to the Washington Post, Markson requested, when the time came, no public memorial of his death.

David Markson: cancer (likely).

I’m ignoring his request.
Said Elaine Markson.

Roll Tide.