Friday, November 09, 2007

University of Alabama Football Report for 11/09/07

Jimmy Johns will not play running back, quarter back, or line backer this year. He will become the NWA champion.

D.J. Hall will be double-covered tomorrow. John Parker Wilson will throw to him anyway.

Someone else will have been wide open.

Sly Croom will have his team motivated to play tomorrow.

He will not take them to a bowl game.

Georgia will wear black jerseys facing Auburn.

Mark Richt is Mike DuBose with better public speaking skills.

Solo Monk and Fistful of Metal are two albums you are free to hype as much as you like; both can withstand it and will not disappoint the uninitiated.

Gambling is a sin.

Louisiana Tech is getting 40 from LSU in some lines and has only lost to the spread once this season!

Thurston Moore thinks Guitar Hero is a waste of time.

Zoology is pronounced “zo” at the beginning.

When an eighteen-year-old reads over Ron Paul’s platform, he or she is not a moron for thinking it makes sense, as most eighteen-year-olds have little applicable knowledge of how the larger world works.

The same can be said of Ron Paul.

Except that he’s a moron.

Soccer is not unpopular in America because of low scoring. Soccer is flawed.

The best hamburger in Nashville is served at Rotier’s. Ignore that Jack White prefers Brown’s.

Hell is other people.

South Carolina is not very good.

Florida is not 100%.

Fran deserves everything he has coming to him.

And then some.

That sack of shit.

The mobile does not exist in nature.

Alexander Calder invented it.

Calder’s Three Wings was destroyed on September 11 along with the 7 World Trade Center building.

It is an awful world.

Saturdays in the fall make it less so.

Roll Tide.