Friday, December 18, 2009

University of Alabama Football Report for 12/18/09: An Open Letter to Saint Nick (the fat one)

Dear Santa:

I am well aware of my fixed position on the naughty side of the ledger. However, I write not on my own behalf but for others who are perhaps too preoccupied to take pen in hand this week leading up to your big night.

All I want for Christmas this year is

for someone to step up in the secondary to replace Rashaad Johnson.

one more round at Egan's.
to beat Tennessee in the most heartbreaking manner possible.
a beautiful day in Tuscaloosa to celebrate a win.

to beat LSU.

an evening with the cute brunette two barstools over.
a division title.
to beat Auburn in the most heartbreaking manner possible.

to make Tim Tebow cry.

for Rolando McClain to win the Butkis Award.

a conference title.

for Mark Ingram to win the Heisman.

a national title.
P.S. -- Apologies, Santa, but it appears my list is a bit out of date. Many of the items on the list have been taken care of prior to my writing. Thankfully, one item remains, thus reducing my demands on your time and allowing you to devote your efforts to those more deserving.

Also, are you aware that they barbecue reindeer in Texas? It's true, and you should hear the awful things they say about elves.

Roll Tide.