Friday, September 14, 2007

University of Alabama Football Report for 9/14/07

Things you will not read about here:

Local TV news anchors.

The Freedom of Information Act.

Darren McFadden’s car.

For all the slights and jabs directed at Alabama and their four-million-dollar man, one can at least offer the defense, such as it is, that the Crimson Tide faithful love football.

Think about something or someone you love. Imagine Elvis and Jesus playing the doubles tournament at the French Open. Imagine a pill for high blood pressure that turns your shit into gold ingot. Imagine your first pet having a Ph.D. in theoretical physics from MIT and doing your homework for you all your life. Imagine Michelangelo carving Marilyn Monroe and Audrey Hepburn having sex. Now imagine you could read about it in the paper every day and see it on television that weekend--that’s football to the Alabama fan.

That’s why 92,000 people showed up for a scrimmage. That’s why nearly 40,000 of those people sold out Vanderbilt’s stadium and shouted down the home team’s band when it tried to play its fight song. That’s why, despite the pain, they showed their former favorite son the door and cut the Great Leader the big check.

Now, Arkansas? I have no damn idea what they love.

Last season, the Arkansas Razorbacks won their division and played in the SEC Championship Game, losing to eventual national champion Florida. They posted a ten-win season and featured a Heisman candidate in their backfield, a player many are calling the best player in college football at the moment.

What reaped this team throughout the off-season? A coordinator and many players quit, the coach was nearly fired, and the courts were involved far more than you’d think necessary for men playing football. Insanity.

You may think it improper for Alabama to pay Nick Saban what it does. You may question the priorities of the kilt-wearing yayhoo with Bear Bryant’s image tattooed along his spine. You may question the wisdom of the couple who named their children “Bryant,” “Tyde,” and “Saban.” But if you loved football this much, what would you do?

Roll Tide