University of Alabama Football Report for 9/26/08

Scaramouche: Have you heard Georgia will be wearing special jerseys for the game with Alabama?

Mister Punch: Huzzah! Alabama will also be wearing special jerseys—the ones they wore while beating Georgia!

Scaramouche: Are you unaware? Georgia will be donning black jerseys for the game.

Mister Punch: Huzzah! Better that they look like Vanderbilt than play like them.

Scaramouche: Perhaps you did not hear me. Their fans will also be wearing black.

Mister Punch: Huzzah! For they will be in mourning their team’s dashed championship hopes.

Scaramouche: No, you miss the point. For that night, everyone in Georgia will be wearing black.

Mister Punch: Huzzah! I love Vicki Lawrence!

Scaramouche: No, that is “The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia.” This is called a “blackout.”

Mister Punch: Huzzah! Here’s hoping Georgia fans will have nothing worth seeing.

Scaramouche: You do not understand. Mark Richt is a psychological mastermind.

Mister Punch: Huzzah! Mark Richt is Mike Dubose with public relation skills and a chastity belt.

Scaramouche: You are not impressed by Georgia’s black uniforms?

Mister Punch: Huzzah! I am impressed by Georgia’s stellar running back, strong-armed QB, and steadily improving receiving corps. I am not so impressed with a motivational tool once employed by the now unemployed Jerry “Send in the troll!” Glanville.

Scaramouche: But Georgia is the number three ranked team in the nation!

Mister Punch: Huzzah! Perhaps you did not see the number one ranked team in the nation lose last night.

Scaramouche: Were they wearing their special jerseys?

Mister Punch: Huzzah! Huzzah! I’ve beat the devil—Roll Tide!