University of Alabama Football Report for 9/16/05

A new federal law requires that any school receiving funding from the Department of Education must devote classtime this week observing Constitution and Citizenship Day, which happens to fall on Hank Williams’ birthday and Alabama’s SEC opener. Perhaps the thinking behind this is to create little Madisons throughout the homeland or perhaps to make the children better aware of which rights are being erased as they age.

No matter. As long as the 21st Amendment holds, I should do fine.

All the talk around Crimson Tide football this past week has centered on Tyrone Prothro and ‘The Catch.’ When considering that this weekend marks not only Alabama’s first conference game, not only its first road game, but also its first encounter with Fun-n-Gun 2.0 (horribly renamed Cock-n-Fire), that’s one hell of a catch. So says ESPN, so say we all.

However, the Ol’ Ball Coach ain’t what he used to be. His disastrous run in the NFL (with that team whose name must give fits to the NCAA oversight committee) tarnished a bit of the Visored One’s reputation, but may have opened his eyes to more efficient blocking schemes. Thus, South Carolina sure didn’t look like a bunch of Lou Holtz recruits against Georgia last week and will certainly test the Tide secondary tomorrow. Thank God they can’t run worth a damn.

It seems like only yesterday that Spurrier was the hotshot offensive genius at Florida while South Carolina was trying to become a contender by hiring a former national championship coach. Now, Florida has their new hotshot offensive genius and South Carolina’s still trying. The more things change…

Oddly enough, one thing that won’t change is the color of the Alabama jerseys. The Gamecocks have elected to wear road white in expectation of Columbia’s energy-sapping heat by kick-off. If Spurrier’s coaching machinations have been so reduced that he now relies on the Weather Channel for an advantage, then might I offer some help?

Tomorrow’s forecast calls for heat, humidity, and scattered visor tosses into early evening.

Roll Tide.